ICV Supplement: m-1

In the 1980's there was an extremely informative instructional video filmed by two experts in the field of enhanced lactose cryogenics. Those who know of this film refer to it as The Ice Cream Video (ICV). It sets forth proper purchasing and transportation regulations as well as distribution procedures and consumption controls. Believing that I am adequately acquainted with the subject matter I feel confident in offering the following supplemental hypothesis and supporting experiment.
Larger portions are more effective in minimizing the amount of ice cream wasted after consumption, provided consumption occurs in a cone-free environment. In addition, eating directly out of the storage receptacle will further reduce the amount of ice cream waste. The following experiment has been devised to support this hypothesis. Two bowls of chocolate ice cream are served. Sample A contains two more scoops than sample B. After consumption a visual inspection of the bowls reveals the same amount of melted ice cream residue. By this we may interpolate that serving size is not directly proportional to the amount of residue wasted. One may also infer that by reducing the number of containers the ice cream is transplanted into will reduce waste further. In conclusion the practice of serving small bowls of ice cream is wasteful and can only be justified by either licking the resultant residue or eating a second bowl.

BUMP vs bump

I was going to wait a couple weeks to blog about this so I could use the word "fortnight" but I just did so I don't have to wait anymore. I recently drove to Oklahoma City. There is currently construction on the turnpike. It while driving in this construction at night that I encountered the subject of this post. There are several BUMP signs, which serve as an warning to motorists of a sudden upward change in elevation of the road. Every time I saw one of these signs I would slow down, go to yellow alert, and brace for a impact. Mysteriously each sign was followed by an almost imperceptible bump rather than a vehicle jarring BUMP. We proceeded on our journey not knowing if this bump was the BUMP or if it was still lurking out there...in the dark. In my bewildered and somewhat worrisome state I mused on this roadside hyperbole. To me when something is written in all capital letters it means that someone is yelling or emphasize something. This apparently does not apply to road signs. There should be a scale to measure the severity of a bump to determine whether its is a bump or a BUMP. At the very least they should give an approximate distance to the obstacle. To all who drive that stretch of road beware for things that go BUMP in the night.