Time of Reflection

I will apologize to those who are expecting a comical blog entry. Don't stop reading though; aspects of this entry have been on my mind for a while. Many of the thoughts herein have entered into my mind at times of great reflective clarity. I do not easily relay things of a personal nature so I will be brief. But I hope that I am able convey the feelings of gratitude that I have for my family. I feel much like Parley P. Pratt did when he wrote of learning the principal of eternal families, from the prophet Joseph Smith (see page 330 of his autobiography).

I could not have been born into a more wonderful family. The more I reflect on growing up with my family, the more I realized how truly blessed I am. My loving parents taught us (my siblings and I) and allowed us to learn. We spent spent time together as a family in recreation as well as work. Among the many things that I gained from this upbringing is a knowledge of and a love for my Father in Heaven.

This love is what fueled my desire to serve as a missionary. After submitting the paperwork I was called to serve in the Micronesia Guam Mission (this included the Republic Palau, Federated States of Micronesia, Northern Marianas Islands, Guam, and the Marshall Islands). I didn't know anyone when I arrived but when I left two years later, I was surprised by how much I loved the people--both those that I served and those with whom I served. I am amazed that when leaving my birth family, I was greeted by another. Even today was I type this, 10 years after first arriving on Guam, the love and gratitude I feel is almost overwhelming. The experiences with my brothers and sisters on the isles of the sea has so profoundly impacted my life that I can't really begin to put them into words.

It would be an understatement if I said that transitioning back into "normal" life after returning home was difficult. I received great comfort and council from my then bishop now father-in-law. The final family I wish to thank is the family into which I married. General Robert E. Lee advised J.B. Hood to “Never marry unless you can do so into a family that will enable your children to feel proud of both sides of the house". I can say without hesitation that in marrying my wonderful wife I have done this. I don't think I could have been more completely welcomed into a family without being born into it. The love they share is a wonderful thing to experience.

The family that my wife and I now enjoy has been directly shaped by these families. I am grateful that these cherished relationships can last through the eternities. Thank you again to these families you are an integral part of the joy I feel in my life.

Ask Mr. Owl

One day I was contemplating the great questions and mysteries of the universe. You know the kind; if a small town barber shaves everyone in town that doesn't shave themselves who shaves the barber? (I'll wait while you wrap your head around that quandary...) Any way, the question I'm really wanting to address now is how many licks does it take to get the to center of a Tootsie Pop? If you go to the FAQ on Tootsie Roll web site you can read their response to this question. "It depends on a variety of factors such as the size of your mouth, the amount of saliva, etc. Basically, the world may never know."
This so-called answer never sat well with me. As a young man I sat down with a Tootsie Pop determined to do what Tootsie Roll Industries couldn't, or wouldn't. I would lick my way to the center, counting all the way. Looking back with an older, wiser, more analytical mind I realized the follies of this impetuous venture. I was blinded and carried away by the temptation of knowing "what the world may never know". Alas I failed to make any of the necessary preparations regarding the perimeters of the experiment; what constitutes a lick and where is the center? These are just a few of many pieces of the vital data that I neglected to consider before even beginning such an undertaking. After realizing this, I tried to I delude myself by thinking that I was the only one to know of the faults in my experiment. Having tasted the sweetness of this knowledge I could not let it go. I continued in my self deception, even boasting of this knowledge when the topic would come up. All the while knowing that it was incomplete. Eventually what sweetness it once had was replaced by a lingering vile bitterness. It felt hollow like a half victory. The kind that only the runner-up in a hot dog eating contest could even begin to understand.

I put this behind me for "When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things" (1 Cor. 13:11). It had been years since I have heard the alluring call of the Tootsie Pop; but I'm getting ahead of myself. Allow me to take you back to that fateful day. I was one day uninterestedly looking at the candy in the candy bowl at work when I noticed a Tootsie Pop whose wrapper had unfamiliar coloring. Upon lifting it for closer examination I found it to be pomegranate flavored. "That's an interesting flavor choice" I thought to myself as I returned it to the bowl. Then I was struck, as if by a bag of nickles, I again felt the adventurous spirit of the explorers of old being beckoned by forbidden understanding [heroic trumpets and drums]. With patience and planning on my side I could rectify the mistakes of my zealous youth and gain this knowledge, which for so long had eluded me. After a few days of preparation and approximately 45 minutes of licking I can now say that I know how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop.
Sorry this entry seems to have taken a strange turn. I had planned for it to be an invitation to scientific collaboration but I kind of got away from me. It's already longer than I would like so I will not posting results at this time. If you would like to post your findings feel free to make a comment and if you do lick to the center of a Tootsie Pop you can print this "Clean Stick Award".

The Incredible Edible Egg

I was watching a show on PBS about breakfast restaurants. They were asking people why they had picked a particular restaurant as their favorite. One patron said that they picked a particular establishment because they had the best Scotch egg in town. I had never heard of such a thing and I really like eggs. I wondered, almost out loud, "What's a Scotch egg?" Seeming to sense my interest and confusion the TV program began explaining exactly what it is. Basically it's a hard-boiled egg (minus the shell) covered with cooked ground sausage, dipped into an egg bath, breaded, and then fried. Doesn't that sound amazing!? A new quest begins...

A few days passed and I was taking a QuikTrip customer survey. One question listed a few possible new items for the QT rollers and asked if offered how likely it would be for me to purchase them. I was surprised to read that one of the items was a Scotch egg. This prospect was both exciting and distressing. I was excited because that would make finding one very convenient but distressed because I did not want my first Scotch egg to come from a gas station. I was sharing my plight with a couple my wife and I were eating dinner with and the wife said that she has had a Scotch egg, and not only has she had one, she knows how to make them as well. She later made some for us and they were delicious (either hot or cold).

Now having seen what they looked like on the show and in person, I wonder how QT is going to have them on the rollers. All the foods on the rollers are cylindrical. How could they make a Scotch egg that would be compatible with the existing rollers in the store? Hot dogs, hamburgers, and even the buffalo wings can be pressed into pretty much any shape. A hard-boiled egg is another story all together. I remember an urban legend about KFC genetically engineering "chickens" to cut labor and cost. Is there a possibility that QT Labs has a sophisticated genetics department? This group of elite scientists would surely be able to complete the assignment to create a chicken that will lay a cylindrical egg. Of course we know that this is pure madness...or is it? What if the hot dogs, hamburgers, and buffalo wings are not pressed into cylinders; but meat from cylindrical live stock?